Classified Pet Peeves

[V12StealthHunter]

Just thought I'd share some of my classified ad pet peeves and see what others are out there.

"WOW, RARE, L@@K"
Probably the most annoying. Just because you say something is rare it doesn't make it any good. Nor do I need you to tell me to "L@@K". Now add unnecessary capitalisation and I don't care if you're giving it away for free, I'm not clicking on your ad.

"Low Miles!!!! Only 140,000 local!!! HIGHWAY MILES!!!"
I don't care if you drove it locally or across the country, on a highway or under water, its got 140k miles! How does anyone in their right mind call that "low"? There is no engine I've ever read about or seen that doesn't call for some level of top end work by 140k miles. I'm thinking water pump, timing belt/chain, tensioners, valve adjustment, valve stem seals etc.. And if its an older car, that automatic gearbox is also almost end of life too. So WTF do you mean "low" miles?

"Wow. 2003 Mercedes-Benz S600 Only $7,000! MSRP new was over $140k!"
I really don't care what the price was when new. It means absolutely nothing. It has no bearing on how good or valuable your car is now. You're not selling a car for 95% off, you're selling 5% of a car.

"Will upload photos soon"
Did you really think your piece of junk is so valuable that people are going to buy it the very instant you post an ad? Or that someone will actually bother to save the link and check back periodically for the whole 3 weeks it took you to upload photos? WTF is wrong with you. Its going to be buried under a 100 new ads by the time you upload photos anyway. And If you're so lazy to go take some photos of your car, I don't think I want to even deal with you. Sometimes people write "hope to upload photos soon"... classic.

"Will send photos to serious replies only"
You're even worse than the above because not only were you so damn lazy you've added arrogance to the mix because the only person not serious, is you!

"Mechanics special. Slight knocking sound from engine, stuck in 1st gear, needs paint, cracked windshield" "
First, I really hate the term "mechanics special", its akin to "love handle", "muffin top" etc... a euphemism almost in my book. Did you really think that there are hundreds of mechanics out there trawling the classifieds looking for random cars labelled "mechanics special"? And on top of that, did you really think they would pay a premium for your piece of junk because they know how to fix cars? Are all mechanics completely retarded to you?

"Only tasteful mods/upgrades"
So arrogant. Do you think you are some sort of God of good taste? That everyone in the world thinks you have good taste? No, your $50 Chinese garbage "angel eye" headlights on your $70k BMW M5 don't make it any better. You were just too cheap to buy original Bosch headlights when you needed to replace them. Just confess.

"Lady driven"
I don't know what planet these people come from. But on Earth, 99% of women are completely oblivious to all things automotive. They are far more likely to ignore problems or not keep up with routine maintenance like oil changes than a man would. Ask a woman when she last changed the oil in her car, I'd wager the majority will likely respond, "Cars need oil?" or maybe when you ask about the knocking sound from the engine, "Oh thats normal, it always does that". I will be avoiding your car. Thanks for the heads up.

And finally, keyword spamming. No matter how amazing your deal is. If you keyword spam, I'm just going to flag your post. There is not a single classifieds website that allows that and its super annoying to have to sift through 6000 Honda ads to find one Fiat!

[garion]

If you're talking Craigslist, there's a few tricks I use...

- Search titles only. There's a check box for this
- Search for pics only. Checkbox.
- You can tell the search to discard ads that contain words with the "-" (dash or minus).. For example, I have one search as "fiat -500 -500l -500c -pop".. This brings down the number of hits..
- I also use a RSS feed reader.. When you search, at the bottom of the page, there's an orange "RSS" button. If you hit that, and have the RSS reader, you can have that search performed periodically by that software. I use something called "NewsFire" on OSX, but many Email clients have RSS readers in them..
- I've also found that not limiting your search to cars produces sometimes interesting results. Parts and memorabilia.. I even ran across a garage sale selling fiat parts.

[aj81spider]

How about (from actual Craigslist ads)

"Ran when parked 6 years ago." I'm guessing it probably doesn't run now!

"Must sell - price firm."

"All original except for engine and transmission"

"Car is complete and has been running in the last 10 years"

"Boyd Corrington rims all around" - if it's a big selling point for you, you should probably actually know the guys name.

"Looks nice" next to a picture of a beat up, rusted out 73 Mustang.

"1972 Cutlass sup for restore. nice inter bucket seat ans console" - That was the entire ad. No picture, no price.

"No emails" with no phone number attached to the ad

[spidernut]

How about the ads that list it as a Fait?
The others that spell Pinin Farina wrong - and I've seen some really odd spellings
People who list a Fiat 124 as a Fiat 850 Sport (I've seen two like this)
Then there's the Fiat Spyder ads...gotta love spelling the car's name incorrectly
I also love the "one owner, well maintained" ads that state the car has sitting in a garage for 10 years and hasn't been started
There's also the "all original" ads that show pictures with hoods and bumpers from other year cars. I guess they mean all original Fiat parts.

[azruss]

I'm not a big stickler on spelling errors as i dont spell well. (spelled Ferarri wrong for years ) yea, yea, I know. What these ads tell you is to expect the hype, figure the car is only half as good as advertised and if there are no pictures, the car is a POS. It also tells you a lot about the seller and his knowledge of the car. Just like I am cautious of a car that has been detailed to the last spot of oil. It makes me ask myself what are they trying to hide.

[btoran]

"How about the ads that list it as a Fait?"

That's called a vowel movement, and it can either be a sign or poor spelling or lots of BS coming your way.

[4uall]

I am always a big fan of the ads that cut and paste car/bike pics from Google with different makes/models and colours

[V12StealthHunter]

Just added two more! Can't believe how many I've got already. I must be becoming a bitter old man prematurely.