to be or not to be. ah what a question

[BEEK]

At what time should a person give up on the good in people and realize that you got screwed? This is the first time I have tried this, maybe the last!


My side of the story.

1. a forum member sent me a transmission to rebuild for them
2. they sent me all of the parts including gaskets
3. What I did was the bench labor (overhaul) and clean the case and internals, I did replace a gear or 2 as well, but I had them lying around.
4. This process did take a bit longer than expected. Unfortunately I do not have the dates to make an exact quote of the time. But it’s fair to say that I had the transmission for 3 months, maybe more. I was told that they were in no hurry anyway.
5. The work was performed as requested and the transmission was shipped back to the member over 5 month’s ago maybe 6 by now.
6. I paid for the return shipping
7. I was only charging 75.00 to build the transmission
8. I have contacted the member using the pm function of this site, as all messages were sent that way from the beginning
9. the member 3 months ago promised to send me a check the next day…. Never
Happened
10 This member was a regular on the site for a long time. Now he doesn’t log in and
Hasn’t in 2 months.

So this is what I figure.

1. I was being punished for not being expedient with the service. Even though it was discussed that time was not of the essence.
2. The member then told me that he had not installed the transmission yet. So now I figure ill have to wait for him to get around installing it before deciding whether or not I should be paid.
3. the person has decided that he is never going to pay me and “ha ha ha, the joke is on me for trusting him”
4. Or there is a real problem that prohibits him from communicating in 3 months and letting me know what is going on. And he really does intend to send me the money and just forgot, or got lost, or the check is in the mail.

Conclusion.

1 I am out 85.00 for shipping
2 I don’t figure I will ever get paid
3 I was intending to send 25.00 of the proceeds of this transaction to the site for letting me make money using it. Sorry can’t do that now. Maybe the next time, if there is one.
4 Oh yea, I did rebuild a transmission for free too.

Again I hope that there is not a real problem keeping this person from contacting me. If so I am real sorry for being aggravated. But communication would help a lot.

And there are 2 sides of every story; I am not mentioning whom as they may not want to write a rebuttal. If they decide to comment then I feel this post should be deleted and our business be kept in private.

[maytag]

Beek, that really sucks. as a matter of fact, this may be the one time in our lives when we see science defied, as this really SUCKS and BLOWS at the same time.

I think you all know that I've been through this with another forum member. I didn't handle it as grown-up as you have so far. Once I got to the point of posting, I ranted and railed and decried him as a schmuck. I still got no satisfaction.

Here's a part that is interesting about your post, and that we can all learn from:

So this is what I figure.

1. I was being punished for not being expedient with the service. Even though it was discussed that time was not of the essence.
2. The member then told me that he had not installed the transmission yet. So now I figure ill have to wait for him to get around installing it before deciding whether or not I should be paid.
3. the person has decided that he is never going to pay me and “ha ha ha, the joke is on me for trusting him”
4. Or there is a real problem that prohibits him from communicating in 3 months and letting me know what is going on. And he really does intend to send me the money and just forgot, or got lost, or the check is in the mail.

In the absence of communication, we are forced to guess. Human nature is to fill-in the gaps where information is missing. We do this from a blend of our fears and imagination. Human nature also says that the trustworthy tend to trust. (Csaba and Ramzi at Autoricambi have shown this over and over and over). You trusted. And now you are either being taken advantage of, or at least mistreated.

My recommendation would be to allow this to percolate for a week. Maybe send a PM to SoCal Mark and ask him if he is aware of any hardships this person has had (only because as moderator, he may have seen something we haven't). If after a week, you don't see any action, try floating a balloon out: tell us his name, and see of any of us know anything about his whereabouts; Still allowing for the fact that he may have a legitimate hardship which is keeping him from responding.

IF you still get no satisfaction, then I think it is reasonable to let us know who we should avoid dealing with. That's part of the value of a forum like this. We MUST hold each other accountable. If we don't, we do a disservice to each other.

this all reminds me that I've been promising Tammy and Jason Miller I;d ship out a core for a couple weeks now..... Glad you rang my bell!

And the BEST thing to come out of this? Now I know you will rebuild a trans for $75.

[dmwhiteoak]

Sorry to hear of your misfortune. The world is full of smucks and I have delt with many. There is also many good people and I will take a smuck every now and then just for the opportunity to deal with the good ones. A rebuild for 75 bucks + parts and shipping? Sign me up !

[CajunMike]

Fairly stated BEEK. Sometimes its best to ask for money up front. Heck I'd have sent $75 to Nigeria for a transmission overhaul.

[bran100]

Sorry to hear that. In the long run, trust is a good thing and you'll get more out of it than if you take the opposite route. If I wasn't so dick-broke, I'd send you some money to cover this guy just to keep you positive and ensure you keep doing good work.

Hopefully this works out for you.

[ga.spyder]

That really does suck.I had a bad dealing here recently with a member of this forum.I wont go into details,but I have a useless part and they say I should have been able to tell it wouldnt work! :roll:I am out the money and have something I wouldnt even try to sell to someone else.It is the only bad dealings I have ever had with a fellow Fiat owner,but it opens your eyes regarding trust issues! Sorry to hear that BEEK,maybe they will man up and take care of it.

[spiderrey]

And the BEST thing to come out of this? Now I know you will rebuild a trans for $75.
Ive got one in the garage that needs rebuilding, where do i send it. Seriously though, everyones been burned at one time or another I think. You shouldnt feel like a sucker for trusting someone. it just makes you the better person. I got smoked once. I was pissed, but the guy was in in Texas and there was nothing I could do. i still trust most people, I guess Ill get burned again. No big deal.

[maytag]

still trust most people, I guess Ill get burned again. No big deal.

dingdingdingding.

That's the crux of it, right there.

don't quit trusting. Just don't trust that guy again.

[RRoller123]

12 years as a Cabinetmaker, and have never once used a contract. Only been burned twice, once was by a good friend (now former). People are generally pretty honest, but all of us have human frailty and it does happen. Don't lose faith. We all been there.

Pete

[steve8462]

if you are truly and honest and trusting person. your good life experiences will always outnumber you bad ones! i had a person who many years ago screwed me over in grand fashion. i took it in stride as a lesson learned. this person was the "ME" type who thought he deserved all the good fortune he weaseled. I was in touch with some old neighborhood friends and they were telling me of something horrible that had happened to him recently. I took no joy in his misfortune, but i did ponder the old saying " what goes around comes around" and realized that the high road i took long ago was a very wise choice!

[katsi]

WHAT WHAT Whaaaaaat!! You only charged 75 bones for rebuilding the tranny? Did I get that right? So, if I supplied parts (don't know what they would be - I could probably send a whole bag of frackulators and dohickies) and paid for shipping up and back, you would do the work for 75 buckeroos? If that is what I am to understand then I think I have a transmission for you.

As for your real issue, hopefully you have a phone # for this person just in case they are in a coma or hospital or something. That WOULD be most unfortunate and I believe that is what you are hoping to avoid by not making a federal case out to this. It sucks but I have to agree with eveyone else here, we've all been burned once or twice. Yet, I think I have the answer to your problem - read below. It might even make you feel better.

I have been rebuilding my interior door pannels in my BMW for a while and I just could never get it right. So, I found a guy on craigslist who does this stuff and paid him up front to re-do my door pannels. I thought I was being smart by paying him through paypal thinking I would be protected. Well, I have never seen the guy or the door pannels since. I have had numerous phone conversations and just as many meetings set up to get the pannels just to be dooped out of time and gas once again. So, I started a complaint on paypal. Seems that things have to be shipped for paypal to get involved. Bummer for me Yet, it seems like the perfect soution to your delema. Use paypal and both parties have some sort of legal inermediary in case of a disagreement AS LONG AS THINGS ARE SHIPPED.


Anyway, don't punish the rest of us for some other person's shortcommings. I really do have a transmission that needs going through.

You guys should see my home-made BMW Interior door pannels. My wife truely hates them and So do I

[BEEK]

Well an update is in order. The person whom I was referring to was having some personal issues and has contacted me and is sending payment. When it arrives I will let all know. I’m glad it was an issue rather than just some one taking advantage. I do understand when things happen out of our control. At this point I feel I’m being told honestly and do apologize to this person for thinking the worst. But in today’s times sometimes I wonder

[rlux4]

Well that's good to hear. Restores your faith in humanity.
Ron

[TX82FIAT]

it is a great thing for you to hook up a fellow Fiat enthusiast for such a low cost. keep us posted..